i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
