So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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