you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize