I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Everclear isn't food dammit
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
