Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
