I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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