so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
