he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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