Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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