a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Randomize
