Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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