Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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