Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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