i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Randomize
