tell your sister to shave her snatch
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
