i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
