Three words: puerto rican gang bang
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
