new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
