i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
operation harelip BJ is a go
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
