he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
