sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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