how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
