so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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