I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
