On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Shame - the story of my life.
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