Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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