Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
