I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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