Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
