i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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