I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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