TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
