Farmville is her only friend.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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