you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
