I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
i think my cat just said my name.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
