you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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