Fine. I'll sleep in my office
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
