So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
