Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
