If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
