so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
