Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
