Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
