You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
