Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
