I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Don't make out with my wife yet
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
