Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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