Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
its not stalking. its research.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Alive.
So much puke
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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