Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
