Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
