"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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