It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
