Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He shit in the fireplace
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
